A pretty damn funny parody of the new Iphone commercial

Joke o' da fucking day

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico . While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked t he waiter, "What is that you just served? The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!" The cowboy said, "What the heck, bring me an order." The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy." The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "Th ese are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday." The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."

The DECK is complete!!

Much thanks to the K-man for finishing up my spacious deck prior to the Turkey Day party. Had a good turnout, the highlight was Garage-Man bringing along a growler of 1 year aged Barley Legal Barley Wine....yum yum!!

The food was quite excellent, someone actually brought a turkey this year for my carnivore friends, a keg of Magic Hat was in the house, along with some tasty bourbon.

Cya next turkey day...


Click on the pic for a large view

Ride Ree-Port

Mucho fucking thankso for butterfly, K-man and Quessey for joining me turkey day weekend on a much pleasant ride along Turkey Pen Gap and Mullinax Trail.

The leaves made for some treachorous riding, but with the exception of a few falls the ride was a classic pisgah day.

We even enjoyed a few post ride brew-has at Papas and Beer, imagine that!!

Don't fuck with da Lord

Bad ass biblical verse of the day: "Go on up you baldhead! Go on up you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.

Lesson: Don't call this muther fucker a baldhead.

go see no country for old men

just fucking see it dumb shit

Photo of da week

Fish Assholes?

Now this definately gets a what the fuck?

It's fucking snowing!!

Hot damn, finaly some precip. It was 64 degrees yesterday, now its 40 and snow flurries....

it's fucking raining!!

praise alah!! Its fucking raining!!

Ride Report - Blue Ridge Parkway

Did an easy spin the other day on the Blue Ridge Parkway, riding from where Town Mountain hits the parkway up towards Craggy Gardens. Had a great ride, the parkway is closed after craggy so that keeps most cars off of that section.

I shot this photo while riding along, the leaves are just past their prime but are still a most excellent distraction from the long climb up towards craggy. The temp was around 50, but got progressively colder the high I climbed. The return of course was very chilly, my boyz were frozen to my legs!!

REK REK REK REK

Robert Earl Keen Brought it once again last night to a packed crowd a The Orange Peel. I knew I'd have a great fucking time, but didnt expect anything out of the ordinary since I've seen REK play many times....but alas I was mistaken...

As the band got on stage, on walked a rough looking character carrying a banjo. He seemed vaguely familiar but I couldnt say. After the first song(wish you were here) Robert Keen introduced him as Danny Barnes, the former front man and banjo master from the now dissolved band The Bad Livers. For those of you who've never heard The Bad Livers I'd highly recommend you pick up a copy of their first album titled "Delusions of Banjer". Great fucking stuff. It really changed the music of REK to have a banjer picker, it gave all of the songs more of a blue grass feel.

Here are a few photos from the show I snapped with my fancy schmancy Iphone:

Happy Bday Rosemont

Great party, friends, kickball and brewz...and some great fucking food!!

MAN CALLS 911 TO DEMAND BEER DELIVERY

This guy repeatedly called 911 and demanded they deliver beer. I've been desperate before, but, wait, shit I'm outta beer.....gotta make a phone call...

Mountain Bike Burnout

How the fuck does this guy do this? Must have slicks on with oil on them or something.

More biking darwin awards

Why you shouldn't drink and bike

This some funny fucking shit!!

Great Film

Air Guitar Nation.....fucking awesome fucking docu-fucking mentary.....rent it...watch it....then put in your favorite metal CD and rock the mutha fuckin' hizouse beaatch!!!

Seriously, great fucking documentary about the World Air Guitar Championships and folllows America's first entry into the contest....hey, if the judges don't vote for us American's we can just give them a little taste of our water boards....

Dolphins save surfer from becoming shark’s bait

From MSNBC: Surfer Todd Endris needed a miracle. The shark — a monster great white that came out of nowhere — had hit him three times, peeling the skin off his back and mauling his right leg to the bone.

That’s when a pod of bottlenose dolphins intervened, forming a protective ring around Endris, allowing him to get to shore, where quick first aid provided by a friend saved his life.

So I'm wiping my ass...

I just bought a 12 pack of this new TP, called Extra Super Soft Toilet Paper. And I must say, it does not live up to the hype. It felt like I was wiping my ass with 60 gritt sand paper. Sure, it was on sale, but my ass feels like a teenager after attending catholic mass....

Obama supporters pressed officials to keep Colbert off ballot

COLUMBIA, South Carolina (CNN) -- Two prominent supporters of Illinois Sen. Barack Obama's presidential campaign in South Carolina called state Democratic Party officials and urged them to keep funnyman Stephen Colbert's name off the primary ballot, according to party officials and Obama supporters.

Sen. Barack Obama's campaign has denied any connection to the phone calls.

The Obama campaign denied any connection to the phone calls.

"Democrats in South Carolina, including supporters of ours, had strong feelings on both sides of the ballot issue, and ultimately it was South Carolina Democrats who made this decision," said Obama's South Carolina communications director Kevin Griffis.

The South Carolina Democratic Party Executive Council voted last week 13-3 to block Colbert's bid for the Democratic primary.

To get on the ballot, a candidate had to demonstrate two requirements: that he or she was viable nationally and had spent time campaigning in the state.

The majority of voters said Colbert, host of Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report," did not meet the standard of national viability.

At least one member of the executive council, who requested anonymity, told CNN he felt "pressured" by former State Superintendent of Education Inez Tenenbaum to oppose placing Colbert on the ballot.

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Tenenbaum, who ran for U.S. Senate in 2004, is a high-profile supporter of Obama. Her endorsement of Obama in April was touted by the campaign, and she has appeared at several Obama campaign events, including the opening of a campaign headquarters this summer.

"She said it wouldn't be fair to the other candidates. That he [Colbert] wouldn't be sincere. That he was only running in one state," said the executive council official.

WNC Cyclist Killed by Train

A Hickory bicyclist who was struck by a train Monday died overnight at an Asheville hospital, police said Tuesday.

Mack Junior Johnson, 53, of Hickory was riding his bike Monday morning through a parking lot in Union Square, Hickory's city center, while a train was passing through.

Witnesses said Johnson was riding on the sidewalk toward the train when his front wheel jerked and he fell off the bike. He fell to the ground, said witness Justin Cornett, and was hit in the head by the passing train.

Johnson died in the trauma unit at Mission Hospital in Asheville, police said Tuesday.

THE greatest rock and roll song ever??

ME thinkith so mates....I LOVE this fucking song!!

Looking Back Nearly 14 Years

Here is a slide show of the trip myself and Dr. Destructo took back in 1994. We paddled from the headwaters of the Chuchill River in Northern Canada for over 3 months. Saw lots of cool shit. Did lots of cool things.

Here is a link to a ton of photos from our trip.

The perfect digital camera for outdoor folks? And its Soggy Proof

I purchased the olympus stylus 720SW Digital Camera about a year and a half ago. Really love it. Its waterproof to ten feet, dust proof, and shockproof and it will withstand a drop from five feet.

And its very small, a bit larger than a pack of cigarettes so it will easily fit in your camelbak or even your bike jersey, and you don't have to worry about getting it wet from rain or sweat.

Pretty fucking cool. If you've seen any of my pics from my trip to the tour day france they were all taken with it. I've blown up photos to 11x14 and they look amazing, as good as many of the larger SLR type digital cameras that cost three times as much and certainly won't fit in a camelbak.

Olympus just release an upgraded version, the 790SW packed with new features and its even freeze proof down to -10 degrees, pretty sweet for the hard core skier or mountainier.

Right now its going for only $239 at amazon.com which is a really great fucking deal.

Below is a photo I shot yesterday, click on it for a larger view, keep in mind that its been compressed for the web but you'll get an idea of how well this camera does.

Click pic for larger view

Ride Review - Avery Creek

Muchos gracias for Butterfly leading us all on a fantastic fucking mountain biking ride today. We road Avery Creek via the seemingly never ending climb up Clawhammer. We then hopped on the Black Mountain Singletrack to the top of the mountain, and then enjoyed a rocky, rooty leaf covered decent down Avery Creek.

There was a multitude of minor wrecks culminating in bike damaging over the bars into a creek endo by Cane. Stomach wrenching laughter ensued after it was realized that Cane had not suffered any serious damage, but was quite bruised and cut up, and later realized that he had bent his crank arm into the frame. Luckily it was towards the end of the ride.

Here are some pics(click on each for larger view):

Kylee & Becky were spotted on the road on the way to Pisgah

Kootnei gets some bling

Rosemont tears up some leafy singletrack

Fall colors in da house!!

Taking a break atop of Clawhammer

Ouch!!

Sucks to be this seal or this guy...

Just a cool photo for the Apple nerds out there....

Amazing Shark Documentary

This is a very compelling looking documentary about One man’s crusade to save the world’s sharks from their greatest enemy—humans.

For what seemed a perfect opportunity to begin filming a documentary on declining shark populations, Stewart—an experienced diver and underwater photographer—joined members of the Los Angeles-based Sea Shepherd Conservation Society aboard the Ocean Warrior during a four-month expedition to deter shark poaching in Costa Rica and Ecuador.

However, a series of life-and-death situations resulted—including pirate boat rammings, attempted murder charges, arrests, espionage, and encounters with corruption and hospitalization.

Check out this AMAZING behind the scenes footage about the making of this film here. And watch the trailer below:

First nite ride last night!!

Thanks to butterfly for joining me on our first night ride of the year. Did a good loop at bent creek....yup, you heard me right ken...

The closet republican's are at it again...

A Republican state legislator who repeatedly voted against gay rights measures resigned his seat Wednesday amid revelations he had sex with a man he met at an erotic video store while in Spokane on a GOP retreat.

In a written statement, Rep. Richard Curtis, of La Center, said that while he believes he's done a lot of good during his time in the Legislature, "events that have recently come to light have hurt a lot of people."

Here are a few highlights from some of the top republican's who are so very concerned about protecting marriage:

• Ronald Reagan - divorced the mother of two of his children to marry Nancy Reagan, who bore him a daughter only 7 months after the marriage.
• Bob Dole - divorced the mother of his child, who had nursed him through the long recovery from his war wounds.
• Newt Gingrich - divorced his wife who was dying of cancer.
• Dick Armey - House Majority Leader - divorced
• Sen. Phil Gramm of Texas - divorced
• Rush Limbaugh - Rush and his current wife Marta have six marriages and four divorces between them.
• Rep. Bob Barr of Georgia - Barr, not yet 50 years old, has been married three times. Barr had the audacity to author and push the "Defense of Marriage Act." The current joke making the rounds on Capitol Hill is "Bob Barr...WHICH marriage are you defending?!?

Here is a video list of all of the Repub scandals to bring you up to date, and this is just for 2007!!